In memories of Valerie Tay 1988-2008

[Jonathan]

Hi guys...

Sorry i feels lost since yesterday because i lost a friend to depression and she is now resting in peace under the care of god... sorry if i'm not suppose to post this here but i have no where else to turn to...

Although i never meet her before but we have shared lough and tears trough out our friendship......

It's sad to see a 20 years old suicide out of depressions...


Valerie Tay

Born in singapore on jan 1988
passed away in new york on 15 oct 2008 11pm

Her last post on her blog...

Life is so miserable and dark here, I am not happy at all. Thou, I met many interesting friends here but for me I still prefer to go back to Singapore. How I wish my dad will let me go back to Singapore.

I don't find myself belong to here and I am still looking for somewhere that I belong to. I need to find myself coz I have loss myself I need to find it.

Posted by Val at 8:33 pm

Her last wish and letter to family and friends...
(from her brother's blog)

From my sister, found on my daddy's computer and decided to post here - My last moment, my last letter

Dear daddy, mummy, brother, aunties, uncles,cousins, Zijian, Pam, Chenghao, Samuel, Tianrui, Fefe Dean, Duncan, Harold, Tim, Mike, Polo and all my friends and relatives.

I know what I’m doing is something stupid, foolish and crazy but I just felt I don’t have any breathing space. I need to go somewhere I belong to.

To my daddy, mummy, uncles, aunties, brother, cousins
Daddy, please grants me my last wish, please don’t give me any wake, please cremate me and throw my ashes to the sea in Singapore. Don’t put up any of my photo and you know me I don’t like to take any photos, I urge and beg please, I don’t want any wake I just want to be somewhere that belong to me and I know you have the say please please I beg you, cremate me and bring me back home throw my ashes to the sea in Singapore please. Please keep this away from grandpa, he is weak he cannot take the news of my death, after few weeks or months when he recover; you can break the news to him. Please tell him I wanted this way and he will forgive you.

I don’t blame you daddy and please Ryan my brother don’t blame dad he’s just trying to be a good dad it is me that I cannot take the load. Please forgive me for being foolish.

To Chenghao
I forgot to write something on that letter,I am not worry for Pam coz she has Thomas but the one and only person that I‘m worry is zijian. He’s too quiet sometime till he will just keep everything to himself just like me. When you are free please try to email him don’t let anything happen to him.

To Samuel
I forgot to write on that letter to thank you for taking care of my dog, thank you so much

To Zijian, Tian , Fefe , Samuel, Tian and Pam
If you all saw this by now my brother should have email my letter to you all individually that I left in my daddy’s computer, I have put in clearly to my dad to email to my brother and he will send to you. Thank you so much.

To Dean, Harold, Duncan, Tim, Mike and Polo
Sorry that I am being so willful and naughty making your days being so unhappy when I am in New York. I’m sorry but I am glad to know you all. Thank you so much for taking care of me and I know you all love me and I really appreciate it. My last request to Dean, please write the ending of the fairy tales story to me I would like to know the ending but I know I won’t be able see what’s the ending of that story but anyway, thank you.


To Jazzer, Jamie, Ying, Light didi, Jol and superpriset grandpa
I miss those days around (middle of 2007) with you all, super grandpa always look after us and always protect me and we will party together almost everyday in the morning till afternoon. Jazz di and light di were always so naughty always disturb us but I know you two are just being playful. I like you two just like I love my real life brother. Jamie, Ying and Jol are always like my sisters so cute and nice to me. I remembered last year or the year before during the Christmas event, I told them if whoever can find me I will give him or her one safety charm. Ying was the smart one, she found me very fast and she don’t want the charm but I insist that I send her. I really like you all just like my sisters and brothers. Ying is smart and a bit playful, while Jamie is the quiet one but understanding girl. Jol is the youngest same age as my brother cute and so smart for her age. Jazz is just a playful but understand me so well, he will protect me just like grandpa does. Light didi is the one who always cheer me up with funny jokes.



To ppt daddy, mark papa, rais, xiaomah, kopi and HE guild people
I remember I started to pt xiaomah and kopi during the afternoon and morning during the 2x but need to off everyday around 6pm coz that’s the time my dad will be back home. Xiaomah is always the joker and kopi was quiet that time but now I think he began to be talkative. Ppt daddy will come around 6pm to bain to take over my place, never met him in maple till one day I saw him at PL when I was training zijian character. He is so nice so nice and I am glad I always meet nice ppl. When I joined the HE guild is when we know each other better, nice people there especially daddy and papa they really treat me like their daughter. Daddy is always very easy going and papa to me was so cool. Rais was always quiet and helpful, he helped me to get some quest stuff for me to upgrade my hog. We help each other.


To brave, saha, liver and genosis guild people
I know brave when grandpa asked me to join this guild. Brave always give me advice, there was once I asked him how to take bus and mrt coz I never take any before and he was surprise at first but knowing my situation he taught me how to take buses. Saha is one good friend, he is always so nice to me and liver is cute too and the people in guild are nice to me too.

To Fefe, Pig, Gene, Ray and Saru guild people
Fefe is nice, pig is nice, gene is nice and many other people in Saru is nice too

To Dino and Meng
I am so happy to meet you 2 , so caring and nice to me. Dino is from Singapore and to me he is always so smart and Meng is from Minnosota USA always so loyal to read my blog everyday without fail. Thank you so much.

To Candy
Thanks for being my friend.

To Those I Love
If I should ever leave you whom I love
to go along the Silent Way,
grieve not, nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there.
(I'd come-- I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song or see a bird I loved,
Please do not let the thought of me be sad...
for I am loving you just as I always have...
You were so good to me!
There are so many things I wanted still to do—
so many things to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear...
It was just leaving you that was so hard to face...
We cannot see beyond... But this I know:
I loved you so-- 'twas heaven here with you!



To my maple friends, ppt daddy, mark papa, fefe, pig, dino,ray, rais, xiaomah, jol,. Jazzer, Jamie, superpriset grandpa,cloud, cute kor + da sao, brave,seng, saha, meng, uncle TD, hao, enen mama , ly mummy, alan, gene, liver, ying, candy, ryanxgod, divinedsoul,nunu, alex, light didi, night, thief,kopi, those from my guild before or now plus many many more sorry if I did not mention , whether I know you or don’t even know you, I would like to write something here and thank you for being my friend:


Farewell To All My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain that I leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up when my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.

I was told dying is painful but I don’t feel it at all, I just felt sleepy and tired. It is a good timing coz I have nothing more to write.

Thank you all my family members and all my friends and its time for me to go and farewell.

= END =

I'll pray for you val and may you find your happiness and peace in the other side of the world... You will always be remembered by those who loves you and those who know have the honor to know you...
~ Rest In Peace ~


“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

“Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?’” John 11:25-26

Let us pray

“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.” Paslm 34:15-20


Regards
Jonathan